Undeclared: Slinky vs Slap Bracelet

 

What has two thumbs was born in the eighties and grew up in the nineties? This nerd right here, nice to meet you! I have a lot of fond memories of my childhood and one of the best parts of the early nineties had to be the toys. When I was growing up I was privy to a bevy – say that three times fast – of totally tubular toys. Battle ravaged Spider-man and Wolverine, Darth Vader action figure and Ecto-1 were all nerdgasmic toys. Who wouldn’t want to spend hours playing with toys like those? Exactly!

The nineties were a time of fantastically awesome toys, but if you had to choose just one, could you? You couldn’t play with Darth Vader without Obi-wan or Spider-Man without Green Goblin, it’s just madness. Well, strangely enough for my next Undeclared, I’m going to pit two of the best children’s toys against each other. That’s right, I’m sending the slap bracelet and slinky into the ring-o-death to battle each other over toy supremacy. I know you’re probably thinking to yourself, slinky versus slap bracelet? Those are lame, but I will quickly call shenanigans. If you’re a child of the nineties then you know that you spent hours pushing your slinky off of the stairs or taking turns slapping a thin piece of metal on your friend’s wrist. If you say you didn’t then you’re a liar! (Insert winky face emoticon).

So, let’s get ready for the battle of the century between the two greatest pieces of sharp metal masquerading as toys. Who will be the first to bend, slinky or slap bracelet?

 

Slinky

 slinky

Pros: 

  • Goes down steps
  • Great bungee cord for action figures
  • Comes in awesome colors

Cons:

  • Will cut you if you’re are careful
  • Terrible bungee cord for person
  • Once it stretches it’s done forever

 

Slap Bracelet

 slap-bracelets

Pros:

  • Comes in different designs
  • Makes assaulting your friends okay
  • Great distraction from actual school work

Cons:

  • Thin cover tears easily
  • Will also cut you if you’re not careful
  • Loses it’s curlability pretty darn quick
  • Just waiting to give you tetanus

 

 

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