Yo Adrian, I’ll be Yippie Kay Yay Mother F*****!

The Expendables are back and they’re blowing every bad guy and eighties action movie cliché out of the water. Chock full of familiar faces and a few new ones, “The Expendables 2” is a high-octane thrill ride that will leave you rolling on the floor laughing in between the cheering.

Barney (Sly Stallone) and the gang are back from a routine mission and just as they settle in, the mysterious Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) sends The Expendables back out on another mission. Unfortunately everything doesn’t go as hoped and one of their own, (Liam Hemsworth) is murdered by the treacherous Vilain (Jean-Claude Van Damme), Barney and the group set out for vengeance.

“The Expendables 2” is the culmination of every action movie cliché known to man and even more so than the first go around. I’m not really sure where to start because there are so many amazing moments. There isn’t much new to report for Barney and their gang because the opening sequence shows them doing what they do best; kill everyone single person in their path. Jet Li probably has the most impressive fight sequence of the whole group where he not only beats a man’s head to nothing, but also takes down about ten to fifteen guys with a skillet and a pot. Those poor henchmen never stood a chance.

I’m going to warn you that a minor spoiler is coming up in this paragraph, but I’m not quite sure if I can call it that because if you know anything about action movies, then you will see what I’m going to say from about twenty miles away. The most impressive addition to the crew is Liams Hemsworth. He’s the newest addition to the living, breathing wrecking crew but sadly his membership is short lived. As soon as Hemsworth told Sly that he was giving up the group for a girl after this last mission, I knew he was a goner. He should’ve known better. You never, ever say you’re quitting a group of mercenaries after one last mission because you’ll take the long dirt nap every time.

Something else that stood out was the inclusion of Schwarzenegger, Willis and the great Chuck Norris. These three legendary powerhouses stole every single minute of screen time that was given to them. I so badly want to tell you my favorite quip and retort between Schwarzenegger and Willis but I just can’t ruin it. Just trust me, when I say it will have you laughing out loud.

Now, while every explosive moment filled me with schoolgirl giddiness, there were definitely some things that bothered me. I’m very much aware that this movie is a send up to all of the action movies of yesteryear that were riddled with plot holes, but filling in a few here would’ve been nice. The two biggest disappointments had to have been Jean-Claude Van Damme’s villain. He was given very little screen time and when Sly and Van Damme finally get some one on one time, we’re only shown two signature round house kicks. The lack of Charisma Carpenter was also pretty upsetting. I was hoping she would get more screen time the second time around but of course it seemed like she received more of a demotion.

“The Expendables 2” is a fun way to spend an evening in front of the television. There tons of action, sarcastic quips and the largest body count in a movie ever. All I can say is bring on part three.

– Joe D. 

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